If you know me well you know that I generally dislike other peoples children. It really isn't them, they are a product of how they are raised I suppose. But this time of year really causes issues for me. You see the kid that lives 2 doors down is satans child. Seriously!! Go ahead and judge me for what I am about to say but just remember you don't live next to this little bitch.
There are so many examples as to why I hate this child I really don't know where to begin. The fact that I have to lock my storm door because she will just walk right in to your house is a good example. Once I got wise to the fact that she has no manners and really doesnt give a shit when I say no sorry we can't play today I started locking the storm door. Now she puts her face against the damn door and bangs on it driving the dog wild. So much for getting natural light and a nice breeze in my house.
Then there are her manners.... well lack there of. I suppose it started on dance days when my daughter and I get home later than usual and really do need to get in the house so I can fix dinner, do bath, and get her in bed at a normal time. When I explained that logic her response was "so what?" I resisted the urge to slap her and said "maybe some other day." That came back to bite me when every day after that she asked if my daughter could play with her. So I caved one day, basically to shut her up. That was a disaster. She is a year or two older than my daughter. That being said she is so damn bossy that my child looked like she was ready to beat the shit out of this kid. While playing my kid would say "what is wrong with her? How come she has no manners?" To which this little bitch would say "give me the ball, stop talking to your mommy." (at this point I deserve a round of applause for allowing this child to continue existing in this world)
If the windows of the house are open she stands out in the driveway and yells into this house. She can't remember my daughters name so she yells "Hey" as loud as she can until someone responds. So now not only have I lost my damn door, I have lost the freaking windows too.
I would fail miserably at hostage negotiations because this kid has caused me to give up. We hide in the house, I lie to my child about why we can't play out front (the back yard isn't always safe either since this little bitch often torments the dog yelling at it from her deck), and when we get out of the truck in the driveway we run in the house, close the garage door, shut all doors and windows and lock them.
At this point you are probably wondering where her parents are. If I knew I would tell you. Her poor grandfather and great grandfather care for her and those poor souls look so exhausted I don't have the heart to tell them I would like to choke their granddaughter. The worst part is I am not even safe when I am alone. She still wanders into the yard, torments the dog and yells at me. I have reached the point where my maturity and respect has gone out the window. Now, I just yell "See you next Tuesday." Every Tuesday she thinks something cool is going to happen. And every Tuesday I giggle.
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