Eastern Shore Translations....

While reading all of these Eastern Shore ISMS/Translations keep in mind.... I moved here 7 years ago, at the ripe old age of 25, from Owings Mills, Baltimore County.  Additionally I had been working in Baltimore City for many years.  That being said I love living here and wouldn't trade it for the world.  But the things I see and hear still make me giggle. 

1. Spelling is no indicator of how something is pronounced... For instance, Hoopers Island is pronounced Huppers Island and if you pronounce it with 2 O's you might as well scream "I am not from here and have no idea where I'm going." Also, trust me when I say this... Crapo is not pronounced the way you likely think it is and pronouncing it that way will offend all of its inhabitants.  And speaking of Islands, my definition of an island is clearly quite different.

2. "You should see my country house or hunting property" is code for lets go park somewhere, make out and hope we don't get arrested for trespassing on this land I claimed to be mine. 

3. White does not have a season or specific time of year when it should be worn... White boots are acceptable any time of year.  Don't ask, I don't get it and odds are you won't either.

4. The local "mating call" involves large pick up trucks reving their engines. 

5. When someone asks you the following "you hunt?" the correct response is not criminals. 

6. Directions will likely involve some or all of the following statements: "go past the old Johnson house," "turn left where the water tower used to be," "you know the Miller's old house, it's just past that," "go a little ways and look for a tower, turn right there."  It really doesn't matter what the directions are, you will not no where any of these things are or who these people are.  Get a map (I did not say GPS cause I don't believe Gum Swamp is actually in the GPS system) study it, but still humor yourself from time to time by asking for directions.  My favorite "direction" of all time over here is.....  "if you hit the water you have gone to far, turn around and come back."

7. You will be called sweetheart, honey and hun so much you will have no idea when anyone is hitting on you.

8. Hugging is a way of life.  Don't try to fight it, stop clenching your fists (I speak from experience), just hug it out and you will adapt. 

9. Everyone is related.  Seriously there are no 6 degrees of separation over here so choose your words carefully before you get an Ancestry.com print out to decide who you can and can't talk about in certain company. 

10. Camo is a wardrobe staple.  No one is trying to hide from you in Wawa.  And at some point in your life you too will know what mossy oak camo looks life. 

11. Going to the bakery, the store or Wawa to get coffee is code for going to some place where other people meet and tell me all of the good gossip. 

12. "I got backed up in traffic" is code for "this f***ing piece of farm equipment was on Rt 50, I am pissed off and don't start with me."

13. In the summer time "I will be home shortly" means it will take me over an hour to go 20 miles and you will be lucky if I don't call you for bail money. 

14. Watching all of the high school seniors drive to OC is an acceptable form of birth control. 

15. Waving while driving.  Again it is a way of life.  Trust me they aren't giving you the finger and you should control the urge to reciprocate.  Before you know it you will be waving at people who aren't from here and they will be giving you that weird look like "Do I know you?"

There are so many more but I am tired.  I will continue this some other time when I am more alert.